where are we heading?

What? Did I hear a welcome back? Well why thank you! I trust you all have been well in the last 5 or so weeks I have been away. Clearly it seems I need to be helluva busy before I can find time to write this blog ey?! Anyway howzit

Been a pretty exciting and interesting few months I tell you. I think the last time we spoke I was well on my way to being Mr. Zen and letting go of an issue that was kinda weighing on my mind. So I did, well you don’t totally let go, but it is 92.6% gone. Just some context which will hopefully illustrate fully the essence of this part of the mail. So last july I had a divorce with my ex colleague/partner person, wasn’t messy at all, just things weren’t going as we had agreed so it was best for all if we parted company, but post that it got a tad bit messy regarding cash etc. etc. not meant to be slander, cos if u know him best u go get his side of the story man, but anyway I was also pretty pissed with myself cos I made some pretty random judgement calls, btu you live and you learn not so?

Anyway so in as much as I was out there trying to make things happen for myself, there was always this dark little corner, minute little darkness that used to overshadow the light when tweaked in the slightest and I mean slightest…but anyway so i said poke it, not because I am a bigger man or that I am righteous, but because my sanity wasn’t worth financial statements or a couple of bucks. Now let me tell you what, and I aint no Pastor Ray coming out here to testify, but not a word of a lie, 3 weeks post that decision, I got 4 calls to come to some work which allowed me to apply the knowledge that I acquired through ere 12 years of study and work and on top of that earned me a decent amount of money. The most insane part of that as well is that I was fortunate enough to not only be a beneficiary of a ridiculously generous gift of a trip to Canada, but I was also given ‘work’ (work which could well have been done by this person) that paid me enough so I could go and spend without feeling too guilty and concerned about my budget ☺. What did I have to do? Chaperone 25 kids from Jozi to Toronto and bring them back. Would you do it if you could?!!

Now I aint saying this for applause, I’ve got a story to tell you (Bernie Mac, rest his soul). Watching these kids do their thing is amazing. They are damn good at what they do www.smyle.co.za if you want to see what they are about. There is this little girl, Arabella, 10 years old she is, talented, smart and attitude to boosThese kids are absolute rockstars for 3 weeks. I went to one of their performances at a school and the kids at the school absolutely loved them, shoot they could write a book similar to Gibbs’ after this trip I’m sure, ok it wasn’t that kind of party, but if they were older, it could have been ☺. Anyway back to my story. So anyway, we land, make our way to an area called Cambridge where we are staying, in the Kitchener/Waterloo region, and the kids are asked to write in their journals about their thoughts about leaving home, their plane ride and their first impressions of Canada etc. For many of them it was their first time out of Johannesburg, let alone being on an aeroplane. This one guy, he is physically disabled, George…so what does George write? The first thing I noticed is that there aren’t any shacks here and there is lots of water and you don’t have to go far for it, for us when you see lots of water, there is sometimes also a dead dog in it.

How grounding and recalibrating was that? This guy, physically disabled, but he in my mind was the hardest worker in the band when it comes to carrying stuff and doing his fair share. Kids had to lug around some hand luggage, he always had 2 items whilst the others had like one or whatever. I would never have written that as my first impression of a place, mine would have been like the big cars, pretty girls, driving on the wrong side of the road. I was like woow. Sat back and I smiled and learnt so much. No matter how poked you may think you are, man life really ain’t that bad, thanks for that lesson George. Another major lesson learnt focus on positives in life and you will be surprised what the outcome is!! IF there is that thing that is weighing on you and you and its not in a positive way…park it man and drive past it, you will be surprised what the road ahead has instore!

But that’s not my email, just a little intro. Whilst I was away, I was listening to a show on the radio, cant remember what its called but it was really about how women are more and more being seen as sexual objects by men. The reason she stated for this was the p 0rn industry and its ‘acceptability’ in todays world.

Very interesting discussion it was, but it got me thinking…I think she may have a point to a degree. I remember when we were younger, when guys used to watch or read pornographic material it was a proper covert operation…I heard ☺ guys would make sure that the one persons parents are far away from home and knew what time they would be back before the vhs was inserted into the video machine, oh and let the parents come home and the video get tangled when the eject button was pressed…beads of sweat pouring out the pores, like blood from an open wound…I heard. They also say that when magazines were drooled over they were placed inside another ordinary looking book to disguise it. Now what do we do? The ish is everywhere. On the net, type the word and it comes at you from all angles a lot of the sites are free some have to be paid for but more than enough of these sites have free content, and that links you to even more sites with more content. And the content is just OTT, a lot it frankly is debasing women but they seem to like it.

So now we roll on from the film and smut and we come to the world beyond media. I look around me, TV programs like Entourage, which I love by the way, billboards, half time performances at sporting events, just scantily clad lasses being used to sell and promote things, then we ask ourselves why women are so disrespectfully treated. Why is it that in different pockets that I roll in, the topic of conversation that seems to flow is about how many ladies were ‘done’ and what these women wanted or allowed to be done to them. Now I am not saying that all guys are saying/doing this no no not at all, but its quite prevalent in older circles, now imagine the younger ones who don’t seem to have the same I suppose ‘grounding’ that our generation did, the same I guess shame or shyness when it comes to like older people walking in on their viewing of explicit material.

I ask you this though, has the nature of our relationship, the way we interact with each other or maybe the essence of our interaction, become largely influence by popular culture, things we witness? In a huge way I believe it has been, when I was younger puma wasn’t a brand for me, yes they have changed their image a wee bit, but now all of a sardine its cool again. Apple computers etc…I mean what the f… but now I have a Mac and n iPod and if my BB wasn’t the business, I’d have an iPhone too, wear polo, Levis and drive a Mercedes… Yes time are a-changing but I am not convinced that allowing anyone to access p0 rnographic material on the net, just by clicking the box next to “I am older than 18years” (apparently ;)) is the way forward. Yes parents have a role to play, but how can they when they are chasing the cheese to pay for private school because the education systems in a lot of public schools are not up to scratch…

In society today, we find lots of people males and females, and I guess I am generalizing, but man how many people do you know of who take their marriages or relationships lightly? Guys who are married who philander, my wife is a good woman, the mother of my children, she is good to me and the kids, but this one, she is just my play thing?!! And how many women actually allow this hoping what? Is this the new age, is this us going back to our animal ways? Are we as humans no better than animals and we were fooling ourselves into believing we are meant to be with one partner for eternity? Or have we as man lost our way and this whole thing about bigger, better, faster, more, now, taken over and there is not a damn thing we can…wait correction…willing to do about it?

So what if 12 year olds are having se x instead of irritating girls by snapping their bras, and riding skateboards and bicycles and falling down and getting hurt only to go home and get an uppercut from mommy cos you ripped your new shirt? Climbing trees and making dirt tracks for toy cars, hey what does it matter if Little Jamie is smoking cigarettes with his boys after class? What does it matter right because I am making plenty money and I can pay for the best schooling, nannies the works, I don’t need to be there, kids are taken care of, I just made them, I don’t have to really be a part of their lives anymore, they have playstation…

A blow in the bathroom, a threesome with 2 randoms, different girl every week?? Is that right? I guess so because he allows her, she allows him but is it really ok?

Yes I am being facetious, you know sometimes you get involved and observe and take a step back and think, yes the world is evolving but at what cost? Shoot its fun, its exciting…but and then? But maybe that’s good enough? Is it?

I don’t know the answers? Maybe you do.

Birthdays
I know I missed 2 pages of birthdays in the since the 19th Sept and happy birthday to you all hope you all had a wikkid birthday. This weeks bdays are:
1st Nov Zara, Isabel V
2nd Isabel G and Ez,
4th Tanya M, Shashi
6th Adoma, Lesley, Patience Andy

On that note I am out, have a great weekend all and hopefully catch up again next week ☺

Maximum respect to you all and my bad for being off circuit for a while hope this read was worth it

Beeg love,
Y