Love...Really?

Thousands of birds randomly falling out of the sky, shallow earthquakes, floods, plenty fish washing up dead, global warming, planet Nibiru closing in on the earth and the Mayan Prophecies coming true or maybe just the earth doing its thing? Either way, I don’t have an answer and I really couldn’t care less because there is nothing at all I can do about it bar global warming! Here is a pretty interesting website that lists a lot of the dead fish and bird incidents if you are interested…http://tinfoilpalace.eamped.com/2011/01/06/collation-of-dead-birds-and-fish/

But that’s not this weeks email no no no! this weeks email is far more interesting and the cause of much head and heartache for many of this worlds inhabitants. Greetings to you all my dear friends or people who just receive this email and read it because ☺

So Jan almost done, Feb well on its way and look at all you romantics getting all hearty eyed. February the month of love…woop woop. Now before I go on please, please, please, don’t go psycho analyzing me or anything, I have been rejected by puhleeeenty, I haven’t been deeply hurt by a woman, I am not jaded etc etc…promise…

So anyway this year…like last year and a little the year before, I have decided that I will try and get a girlfriend. Yes its out there, I am in the market…well sort of ;) Now many conversations have been had recently around this topic and the methodical approach to this, what about love, you cant control when and who you fall in love with, I vomited in my mouth…slightly.

LOVE?!

I’ve had many a fight with a good mate of mine, Mbumbu, he is properly all heart. If I had to be honest, because that’s what I am…haa.. he has had a very big hand in both of my relationships. Yes that’s right just 2 serious relationships 5 mths and a couple short of 2 years. In both instances I was super keen but also reluctant and its my issue. I confess I am pretty f**ked when it comes to that, and trust you me the older I get the worse it gets, because insane selfishness and routine and familiarity sets in.

Ok so now I have made a conscious decision to give relationships a go. But, Yaw that’s so durr I hear, love blah blah and I’m like love..shmove! Love is a man created emotion, just like anger and elation, those emotions pass and what is left? Wouldn’t you rather have a great foundation upon which to base a relationship bar this fairytale called love? How about compatibility, similar values, similar aspirations, ability to look after you and the family, friendship, because guys and girls lets not fool ourselves, this love thing dies and what’s left is 2 people working together to make this insanely difficult thing called a relationship work.

I think I’d even go as far as say love in any format is overrated emotion and maybe even non existent, but that’s just me, mr practical. I have never been able to get a satisfactory definition for love, so I came up with my own. Yes I have “loved” one lass in my life but my definition of love was I disliked flying but I flew regularly to go and see her, and I was helluva fond of her and I spoke to her frequently, cos she was interesting. Is that love? Or is it rather that we worked well together? I have a good few friends that I actually enjoy shooting the breeze with. We challenge each other, either on the squash courts, tennis courts, touch rugby field, debate and discourse; I thoroughly enjoy my time with them. When we don’t see each other for ages and hook up again its like the old days, nothing has changed. Is that love? I don’t know. They definitely have a huge role to play in my life and they help me in my growth and development and hopefully I in theirs but is it love errr?

Why is it that the practice of arranged marriages work a lot of the time? I don’t know the stats, but I am inclined to think that more succeed than fail, because you have 2 individuals who mentally prepare themselves for a union based on facts rather than emotion…

Family, styling family, I’d do what I can for them when I can or even when I cant. Is that because its obligation, is that because that is what I am supposed to do, is that because its what I want to do or is it this thing we call love?

I am not too convinced. As a human being in many situations we are in control of how we feel. Love, is just another emotion we can control. We build this person or people up to be what we want to see them as and make the emotion snowball into something that becomes uncontrollable, its like inception, an idea is planted and then we evolve it.

Those that really know me, will know that I am an emotional kind of person, so I am not a robot ☺ but there are some fantastical concepts that I deeply question and this notion of love is definitely right up there. People use it as an excuse to motivate irrational and silly behaviour or acts, people hold it so highly that when this created emotion dissolves there is nothing left and guess what happens, how they relate to this person or thing that was the object of their love and affection, suffers perhaps even ends!

There are times that I hoped that I was like all these hearty eyed people floating around, falling so deeply for someone that I am totally vulnerable and in the event that the love dies, I am totally ineffective and non functioning, I drink myself into a stupor eat till I am 150kgs, I contemplate killing myself because I cant live without them….you get the picture?

But ey to each their own ;) So as I said I’m looking see ;)

Birthdays
25th Anna
28th Belinda, Gareth, Sarge, Martin

Maximum respect and big love man ☺

Y