Wa wa wee wa! What’s good boys and girls? Write to meeeeee!

Fat welcome to Miss Sylvia, I hope you enjoy this weekly email. Any comments or suggestions please mail me or go to www.mondaymail.blogspot.com

Last week I forgot to mention 2 very important celebrations. Happy New Year to my Jewish peeps and Ramadan Mubarak to my Muslim peeps!

Its absolutely ridiculous, well not really, but something as natural as a change in season can cause such an insane change in peoples attitudes. On Sunday I was with some mates and I was wondering what to write about this week and a friend of mine said write about rejuvenation – “the phenomenon of vitality and freshness being restored”

At first I was like what the fork?? And I am still like what the fork, but rejuvenation is all around us, sun rears its head everyone is happy, festive, it’s all about good times. Gyms are ‘fuller’, everyone has a smile on their faces, flowing and floral dresses are being flaunted…makes me want to break out in song…oh happy day...oh happy day…

I am feeling very frisky this week, started off with a fast on Monday, very refreshing, clear mind, resolve, halitosis. J To be honest though, the best part of the day was breaking my fast in the evening. Not because I had food to eat, but because I could break fast. I chose to go hungry, unlike many others who have no choice, its their lot in life…It’s their reality! I gave huge thanks for my little existence that I live I tell u!

This weeks email although I am feeling frisky is full of beef. Financial institutions! Financial institutions give me grief. Just like many of you, I struggle to see the justification behind banks charging me to deposit money into my account (other than because they can). I earn 1 or 2 % or whatever nominal interest rate I receive on this money and they lend the money out at anywhere from 7% to sometimes in excess of 21%. So basically I am paying you, to use my money, to make money. My money is cheaper than borrowing from the reserve bank, who I think charge around 10% (bankers please correct me if I am wrong with any of my thinking) That just doesn’t seem right to me. Yes the cost of handling cash has increased, because of cash in transit heists hiring people etc. but come on there has to be some cost of business that the banks should bear other than hiring all the clever people?? Then when it comes to lending to companies, financial institutions want to take next to zero risk but then charge prime or prime plus something silly…if you are fortunate enough to get any money. If there is no risk, shouldn’t the financial institutions be charging at the risk free rate?? But wait there’s more. Isn’t it funny that when you have money everything is given to you? The financial institutions will throw money at you for no security even if you don’t need it…here’s a R100mil facility, just tell us when you want to activate it. Mr x comes with a proper business case, a list of 10 million and one conditions precedents (hoops you must jump through before we think we may want to chat to you).

Financial institutions charge bank charges for either using an ATM or going into the banks, but internet banking is much cheaper, so who are the guys that stand in the queues? It’s not the well to do, it’s the poor dudes without ama-ADSL or 3G card. Then it comes to borrowing. Poor dude comes to borrow money, s/he gets asked what collateral (in cash or cash equivalent) do you have for this money, now if I had the money would I be borrowing?? But hey I guess it’s a hard knock life. I am sure the rest of you living over the seas have no clue what we go through here, but wait there’s more…

Then we have the mobile phone network operators. They are making money hand over fist, every time I dial your number and you pick up all they hear is chi-ching and I say EISH…that’s R2 odd gone right there just for getting connected, then the have the guile to drop my calls which then means I have to call again another R2. Their excuse the load on the networks is too much. Bra, build more towers!! I am sure most of the hardware has been repaid and all the money they are currently making from all our calls texts etc. is laughing all the way to the bank…along with them. I was really hoping that Virgin would come and shake up this cartel environment that we are subjected to but alas.

But the coup de gras of all is this story. I have a mate. Such a top dude in all honesty. I only met him this year but you know when you know that a person has a good soul, so anyway. The any he was looking down so I asked hey boss whats going on. He just shook his head and he told me this story which even though personal I have his permission to share with you because I think its totally insane. A couple of weeks ago his girlfriend started acting a tad funny, so he did some investigation and found out that she has started seeing another guy about twice her age, with 4 kids (the eldest being 18. He and his girlfriend have been together for almost 4 yrs now. Granted I have hardly been around them together but the little time that I spent with them was like wow this happy stuff does really exist, I mean the bra used to give her a couple of grand to buy clothes, help her with her college work etc. He was a proper boyfriend. Because he digs this lass he said its cool, you have cheated on me you are only 22, we all make mistakes lets try and work through this. So things were slowly working themselves out till earlier this week, she calls him over, and he runs to her side, they are chatting for a couple of hours when all of a sudden she waves at something and he notices a ring on her wedding finger. Shocked is an understatement, I mean this girl is his girlfriend of close on 4 years. So he asks her what is that? She answers, oh didn’t I tell you? I am engaged…so callous, like whatever to you dude…what do you do and I’m getting married tomorrow…TO A 43 YEAR OLD GUY WITH 4 KIDS I MET A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AGO!! What the F***??! Granted this is only one side of the story but he is not the type of guy that would fabricate such stories

To this minute whilst I sit here writing this email I scratch my head and wonder what am I missing because that does not seem like the behavior of a fully compos mentis person. Ey but what can u do…live and learn.

On a more positive note. On Monday I received a call from a mate of mine, just randomly to say hi what a pleasure!! Then yesterday I received an SMS from this mate of mine and all it said was “just hi, and I hope you are having a super day”. It’s so random but the smile on my face…priceless, for everything else there’s mastercard J

Birthdays
16th Al
18th Thuli, Chetan
21st Cute Nat

Maximum respect and happy heritage day to us South Africans, try and get to know your fellow citizens, what drives them and what makes them who they are, that way you can respect what they represent.

Y

Que sera sera

Another beautiful day in Africa comes to an end, well kinda beautiful if you don’t mind the irritated sinus and itchy eyes J. To my Muslim peeps, big love for this holy month of Ramadan which starts tomorrow, hope you all stay strong and keep a pure mind and heart over the period and beyond.

Another addition to the mailing list, Philip and Mimi welcome to our little community of life love and everything else hope u enjoy your time with us. To read any of the older blogs or to comment on a blog posted, please go to www.mondaymail.blogspot.com or alternatively drop me an email with all your comments and suggestions.

So anyway I’ve been holding out on you guys, and with good reason it so appears. This year work wise has been an absolute ripper in many ways, I have been challenged, tempted, successful, failed…but ey all in a few months work. The last 2 weeks have been pretty hectic…well up until a few hrs ago J. In the last 2 weeks or so I managed to get 3 deals in, thank blessings for that cos one of those was a pretty decent 7 digit deal…I felt like we had won the Zama Zama…win today...everyday. Happy times, but true to the form of all big corporates, they expected us to make miracles happen overnight. Mind you we had pitched to them in May, if I am not mistaken. They loved our idea, but they signed at the end of August expecting to go live a week before the end of September. They know very well that our lead times are roughly 6 weeks, but do they care…errr NO! Anyway last week was plenty stress! We worked tirelessly and pulled some rabbits out of hats, granted not all the rabbits were the ones that they were after, but damnit they were pretty fantastic rabbits, given the time they had given us…one week instead of our usual 4 odd weeks. So we submitted the list to them the client came back on Monday chuffed, we breathed a sigh of relief, patted ourselves on the back for a job well done. Then last nite she calls us and says, boys…hold the fone. Bra, I nearly stripped my mo er!! After all that work, stress etc. But anyway, I built a bridge and got over it…ey that’s life…its not entirely dead I hope, but its just not going to happen when we wanted it to.

Speaking of building a bridge, and seeing how much some of you have a bit of a chuckle at my random life. Here’s one for you. So last week I’m out having a ripper with my mates, went to some Smirnoff event, free food, booze, good company…great recipe for a good nite ey. We move from there to Rosebank meet the boys and the girls have a chuckle or plenty. Then along comes the ex. But wait things were different, I don’t know whether I was no longer Superman or she was no longer Kryptonite…guess it was a bit of both, cos I got tired of being superman and underwent training to become Jason Bourne, so whether she was Kryptonite or not, it didn’t matter…Jason Bourne has no weaknesses J I was well chuffed and chuffed I should be damnit its been almost a year. So with a bounce in my step and a smirk on my face, but keeping very cool ala Jason Bourne I carried on with life…till Monday…

We became facebook friends on Monday, only to find that she is becoming friends with all my mates, most of whom she has hardly spoken to whilst we were together and most probably hasn’t even breathed a word to post us…yes its silly, but I felt exactly how grated cheese feels…grated. It really bugged me for some bizarre reason…yes fair enuff I am mates with some of her mates 3 to be exact 2 of whom invited me to be their friends and the other well that was all meeeeee. But its funny how it all works, how when u feel that its all good, something TOOOOOTAAALLLLYYY random such as this happens to make sure u remember its not all good. But anyway, as I mentioned before, I have a huge supply of cement this year so once again I built a bridge and I’m getting over it J

K so today is Thursday now, I am chuckling quietly to myself… I had a meeting and from that meeting I had to stop off at the gym to fetch my skipping rope that I had left there yesterday. On my way into the precinct I decided to put the power of positive thinking to the test and I had no idea what whole situation would be like, but all I knew is that I didn’t want to mission for parking so from the time I decided I should go and fetch my rope till the time I got to the gym all I was saying to myself was there will be parking right outside the door…something that is hardly the case, cos the precinct is insanely busy with all the offices, restaurants and shops etc. but nothing was going to sway me from my thinking. So I get close to the gym and there is not a spot of parking anywhere. As I approach the front door I see the pleasant white light at the rear of a car shining bright…indicating he is reversing to exit, I shake my head and smile, think I may even have let out a giggle. And where was this parking? I couldn’t have asked for a parking more outside the door even if I paid for it! I know I know, I am the most random guy ever, but ey thats me J

Here’s more randomness, the 12th September other than being the 30th anniversary of Steve Biko’s death, was a WednesdayJ, but we move on swiftly, the 7th September was the 10th year anniversary of the death of Mobutu Sese Seko, the president of Zaire (once again called the Democratic Republic of Congo) who was best known for the leopard skin hat he used to wear.

Mobutu born Joseph Desire Mobutu, in a town called Lisala, studied in Belgium and joined the Belgian army at the age of 19. In the 50’s he returned to Belgian Congo, whilst they were in the long process of gaining independence. He worked as a journalist and joined the Congolese National Movement of Patrice Lumumba. In 1960, Belgian Congo gained independence and was known as the Democratic Republic of Congo, Lumumba was the prime minister and Joseph Kasavubu the president. Mobutu Lumumba’s private secretary and later his chief of staff.. Lumumba fell into disfavour with the west following his allegiance to the Soviet Union (he and the president were conflicted which resulted in turmoil). In 1960, Mobutu, through a coup, removed Lumumba from office and placed him under house arrest. Full control of the country was given back to Kasavubut. Lumumba was later murdered.

Mobutu aligned himself closely to western intelligence such as the CIA. The intelligence agencies used Mobutu’s ‘country’ as a springboard to launch operations into other ‘rogue’ countries such as Angola. Mobutu led another coup 2 yrs later in 1965. This resulted in him becoming president in 1970 when he ran unopposed in the elections through his recently established party the popular movement of the revolution.

The theme of Mobutu’s 30 reign was the ‘return to African authenticity”. The first step was to change the country’s name to Zaire (apparently the old name for the Congo River) in 1971. The next move was to change his name to Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu wa za Banga (meaning the ‘all powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win will go from conquest to conquest leaving fire in his wake’). After that he banned Christian names and European dress. In 1973 he did a Mugabe (kind of) and his government seized about 2000 European owned businesses which he gave to his inner circle. These businesses failed…as expected. Next on his agenda was to squash tribalism and any dissent or uprising of any form against his regime. A proper dictator he became. On the one hand he was preaching national unity on the other he was stealing from the hand that feeds the nation.

Political exploitation and corruption was his middle name (if you can fit in any more words into that name of his). Many have been heard referring to his regime as a kleptocracy. So grave was his theft and squandering and mismanagement and whatever other term u want to call it, but it was reported that in the 80’s his personal wealth was in excess of $4bn, that would be US dollars not Zim (currently ofcourse). That’s hectic. I heard reports that at the time of his death or prior to it, his personal wealth could settle his country’s debt. But anyway I guess his time would come. In the late 80’s to early 90’s the whole ‘cold war’ between the West and the Soviet Union became less of an issue and as a result the West had no need for Mobutu.

All of a sudden they could see the human right abuses and the corruption and in 1990 they ceased all aid to his country. He managed to sidestep and tap dance his way to 7 yrs of further rule till the rebellion, led by Laurent Kabilla that started in the east, grew so huge that in March 1997 he relinquished power and fled to Morocco where he died on the 7th September 1997.

I guess I will never know nor understand, but I can still ask! What the hell makes a person do such things. DRC is a wealthy country, timber, natural minerals (diamonds, gold and oil too I think) but they are plunged into poverty instead of harnessing the potential power of the region you rather focus on your pockets. $4bn just for you, and now you are dead and then…?? Oh well!!

Birthdays
10th Tumi Morule, Sefa
13th Inge and Maud
14th Will Mapham and Kyle
15th Goochie

Congrats to Jonty on his wedding the other day, looked beautiful boss! Secondly, T-bang, bro congrats on cycling almost 6000 km on your own and climbing up a mountain also 5000 meters above sea level, it shows that if you put your mind to it, even the unthinkable is possible. MAXIMUM RESPECT!!

That’s me for another week, but I thought I’d give you all a heads up. All things going according to plan, we will be launching another business in the next few days, hugely exciting times. I can’t really say more but I hope you guys are like me and when someone tells u half stories like I just did, the anticipation leaves you NUMB J

Maximum respect

Y

“que sera sera”

“Where do we go, who knows? But each day gets better; I just can’t let her go, oh no
Each kiss gets sweeter; I just can’t leave her, no

I’ll write a song; I thought about it for far too long; But I’ve never had someone to sing about; Until I met her, now each day gets better; Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody else understands me like she; Now that I know what true love means
I just hope she stays with me” John Legend

2 new additions, Nomi and Sharon, welcome to our little world. Old ones and comments on www.mondaymail.blogspot.com or just mail me back. Hoep you enjoy your time with us J

Spring is upon us in full force here in Jozi, I know u Cape Tonians are still struggling a bit with the rain but it too shall pass J. How is this for wack! Have u ever had that feeling when you just seem to be in a Zone and not too much really phases you? You kind of take the emotion out of a lot of things and when misfortune happens, you just shrug your shoulders and sigh and realize ey that’s life? I’ll be honest (and I may be jinxing it, but ey its been a great run thus far) but 2007 has been a year when I have been stuck in a huge moment, but a beautiful one at that. I know I am reflecting in the year that’s been faaaar too early, but ey I believe in giving thanks and praise when due. I just feel like I am in the zone and u know u are my guys and girls so I had to share it with you. Who knows tomorrow may be different but ey at least I had today J. Work, life, love (hmmm!) just general….And hell I have lived a charmed life! For as long as I’ve known I have had plenty misfortune, but even more blessings, and I say this all the time, but my friends and familia are testament to that. Our family is most probably the most functional disfunctional unit around but it works so well. My mates what a bunch of Licorice allsorts. I have crazy guys waking up one morning and deciding to cycle to Tanzania from Joburg, then climbing Kili I have others that drag me…kicking and screaming I might add to places of performing arts such as the Lounge and Mavericks. Then there are others who involve me in their business dealings, those who I kick around on the squash and tennis courts J. Those that I turn to when I need help! U tell me what more can any person ask? Maximum respect to you all.

Between last Monday and this Tuesday, I got pulled over 4 times for no apparent reason. The first just searched me and let me be on my way. Second, there were about 6 of them the pull me over speak shit to me, then ask me to buy them cooldrink, the 3rd was the most annoying this random chicken pulls me over, I am on the phone, legally I might add. She decides no she wants to just jump into my car, search the cubby holes etc. at this point I terminate her call and ask her what the deal is, she says nothing. Then she says she wants my water cos she is thirsty, I look at her like…let me not say this is an adult show. Anyway she is done lurking and wasting my time, then I ask her out of sheer frustration, why the hell have I been stopped 3 times in the last week she responds go and ask your government, no I mean my government, your government is Nigeria, I think to myself u stupid uneducated, ignorant F**K, but instead of taking action and setting the idiot straight (because the last time I decided to question an ignoramus cop, I ended up in the back of a van, struggling for air…and who says u cant teach an old dog new tricks), I looked at her, shook my head and drove off, thinking to myself …that’s it, just thinking to myself.

Guys and girls I think I am either very in tune with the universe of late or something is up. Last week Monday I think it was, something told me I was going to bump into certain young lady whom I had not seen her in yonks. What sparked this? Well in our last engagement, she had shown some concern for my mother. My momsie has been struggling with her knee for yonks now and was due a knee replacement op, which she finally had the courage to have last week. But the whole day there was something telling me I was going to see her. So anyway I made it through the whole day, had a meeting in Midrand, which ended at around 9pm. On my way back I decided to give this friend of mine I hadn’t spoken to in some time a call, she told me she and her sister were having dinner at a restaurant on my way home. So I decide to swing by and say whats up. Guess who’s at the restaurant?? How random is that. But wait there’s more.

Episode 2: The last few days, I had been a tad edgy about this outstanding traffic fine I had, it was only R200, but I thought the fine was bogus and I was contesting it. They told me I had to write a letter and fax it to a number. Well the number wasn’t working and after days of trying I finally got hold of a correct number. Once I sent my letter thru, for a few months I struggled to get hold of anyone to talk to. I resorted to asking ‘a guy’ who knows a dude at the prosecutors office to help a brother out. So a couple of days ago I got on the blower to see if he had heard anything yet, cos I was getting anxious (it might have had something to do with getting stopped 3 times prior). Anyway…no joy. On Tuesday I woke up and something told me I am going to get stopped in a roadblock, but I am like whatever, its life. The day before I had taken my car in for a bit of a tune up, but as luck would have it they messed up something else. So I decide to take a trip there, but on my way there I say this is a detour, something don’t feel right, true as bob, 5 min into my trip I come across a traffic back up. A little voice tells me Yaw, it’s a road block, I could easily have avoided but I decide no lets go and face the music, I have all my supporting documents with me, there will be a reasonable person there who I can explain my case to and get this thing sorted once and for all…eeehh first mistake. Someone reasonable!! There was a camera set up that reads ur number plate and if there is a fine outstanding on ur name it alerts the cops to pull you over. There was no alert on my car, but they pulled me over anyway…why do they hate me cos I am beautiful? Anyway, to cut a long story short, I met with another nincompoop, unfortunately no prosecutor on the spot, they charged me R500 and an hour of my life, instead of the initial R200 cos the fine was late blah blah. I still feel like contesting it, but its just too much effort.

But ey a shrug, a sigh, a smile…that’s life

Episode 3: The coup de grace came yesterday. I was sitting on a bicycle at gym, just then a thought of a guy that knew but hadn’t seen in a little while crossed my mind, u’d be surprised some of the random thoughts that float thru your mind when you have 20min of pain to endure. It kept me busy for honestly 2/3 min and I was getting irritated, just then a black car drives past and the number plate was Alex D, the guys name was Alex, its like weird!! I was like…wow!

Anyway class without any further adieu, this weeks lecture will be about hurricanes. There has been a lot of hurricane activity off the South American coast of late, with Hurricane Dean (I think) and Felix recently. Personally I have been wondering what makes a category 5 hurricane and why it loses strength when it makes landfall etc. so I decided to do some research.

A hurricane as we all know is a huge ‘tropical storm’ that can reach speeds of around 320km/hr and cover an area of 720km…that’s hectic. They are normally formed over the ocean at ocean temperatures of 27 degrees Celsius and warmer. The wind needs to be blowing and the air needs to cool rapidly the higher you go. There is a force called the Coriolis Force (“Once air has been set in motion by the pressure gradient force, it undergoes an apparent deflection from its path, as seen by an observer on the earth. This apparent deflection is called the "Coriolis force" and is a result of the earth's rotation.”) that is required to spin the hurricane. This force is most prominent between 5 – 15 degrees latitude north and south of the equator. They gather energy from the warm ocean water and their intensity is fuelled by the evaporated seawater. The more the sea water evaporation and the winds the greater the speeds hence the categories. The storm spins counter clockwise around the eye…kinda looks like a spinning top. The most dangerous part of a hurricane is something known as a storm surge. This is a mass of water that gets pushed up into the centre of the storm because of the winds. When this storm makes it to land it causes crazy flooding as well as mad waves before it makes it to land.

Stages of a hurricane:
Tropical wave (low pressure moving westwards) – tropical disturbance (organized thunderstorms, maintains its strength for 24hrs) – tropical cyclone (generic term for organized low pressure developed over sub/tropical waters)– tropical depression (organized area of low pressure with sustained winds of 62km/hr or less) – tropical storm (tropical cyclone with max sustained wind speeds ranging from 63km/hr – 117km/hr) – hurricane (tropical cyclone with max sustained wind speeds ranging in excess of 117km/hr

The categories of hurricanes is defined by wind speeds and pressure and storm surges, but I will abbreviate it and just give u the wind speed definitions.
Category 1: 119-153km/hr; category 2:154-177km/hr; category 3:178-209; category 4: 210-249; category 5: >249

Atlantic hurricanes are generally found between Early June and the end of November. In the Eastern Pacific hurricane season is from mid May till the end of November. So what is the difference between a hurricane, cyclone and a typhoon? Absolutely nothing other than where they occur. If the storm happens in the Atlantic, gulf of Mexico or the eastern pacific, its called a hurricane. If it occurs in the western pacific its called a typhoon if it occurs in the Indian ocean, the Bay of Bengal and Australia, its called a cyclone.

Just a bit of FYI, the names of hurricanes are conjured up by the World Meteorological Organisation who have about 6 different lists of names that they rotate every year. Up until 1979 only female names were used. If a hurricane does hectic damage, its name is retired and a new name replaces it.

Birthdays
3rd John C
5th Smangi
8th Simon C

To all the ladies, eish sorry ne, please understand. Rugby World Cup and twenty 20…NICE, this is the life!

To my brothers and sisters from my other mother, Holy month of Ramadaan starts next Thursday yes, u can sure count me in for a day of discipline with you all. If someone could send me the times relevant to Jozi then I could pick a day

Maximum respect and “que sera sera” because it will indeed be so!

Huge love

Y