In the words of Tumi Morule…Its HECTIC! I dunno whats plotting anymore. I am not sure if its because of aging or what but there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day, days in the week… anymore and ask me what I have done at the end of the day and all I can say is not enough! 10 months down 2 to go and have you achieved what you wanted to this year?

Before I carry on, another addition to our growing community. Wendt, welcome! Should you find this to be an absolute waste of precious inbox bytes, firstly give me suggestions to make it better or alternatively drop me a line to remove you and your wish shall be my command. For comments and to read some older emails please visit www.mondaymail.blogspot.com.

You know up until today (Thursday) I had no clue what to write about…enter Thursday, we have a training session, I really didn’t want to spend my whole day training, cos I have 1 deal I am wrapping up and another that has to close soon cos its boring the life out of me, but I decide to attend at least for the morning session. I must say I’m definitely glad I attended, albeit in fits and starts. The course was mainly focused around giving and receiving feedback, which I am not that great at. I remember getting hugely upset in my earlier years at PwC when all my managers told me what a sterling job I was doing, there was no negative press and come appraisal time I was rated average, I flipped like a little baby who’s dummy had been taken away from him/her. My approach was all wrong then and I realized soon after the meeting, but its an emotional thing and your first reaction is always on the defensive. Something that I took from that meeting and which got reinforced yesterday, was step back assess and comment in a structured manner. Bloody difficult ask me I know, but its all about practice and making a conscious decision.

Anyway back to my topic…todays training is about receiving and giving feedback, but something that caught my attention was a concept called Johari’s window.

The window looks like this:

The name Johari is pretty odd isn’t it? The reason for the name is that the ‘concept’ is named after its architects Joe Luft and Harry Ingram. It emphasizes the importance of feedback particularly in developing your blind areas (the top right hand quadrant).

I will attempt to explain all these quadrants as I understand them.

Quadrant 1 – Open/free area
This area highlights the attributes of a person know to the person and others, such as their behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion, knowledge, experience, skills, etc. The aim is for all of us to spend as much time in this area as possible because in this space we are at our optimum, all information is known, there is continuous communication and cooperation. Basically we are all reading off the same page. The aim is to get this open area as large as possible, because there is less conflict, confusion and mistrust, cos every knows everyone else’s business. This area can generally be expanded sideways and downwards into the blind and hidden areas.

Quadrant 2 – The blind area
This quadrant represents things others know about us, but we don’t know, a crude example would be say I blow my nose and there is a snolly still parking off in my nose, you can see it but I am totally oblivious to the fact. So here you are cringing every time you look at me. You know something I want to know. How do I get to a position of full knowledge as to the mechanics of your reaction? Request feedback! This feedback will assist in increasing self awareness and as a result increase the open area. This blind area is not a productive or effective area. Its an area that could breed arrogance/insecurity I guess, because you are so caught up in your own perception of you that you have no idea of what the world around you sees. This quadrant is prevalent in thick-skinned people. How does one minimize this area? Give sensitive, non-judgemental feedback, encourage disclosure and discussion. This will fuel the process of self actualization.

Quadrant 3 – The hidden area
This area describes things we know about ourselves but chose to hide from others. Such things will include fears, the fact that I watched a movie called Radio on Sunday and it brought a tear to my eye, because people may think I am a big baby, secrets, hidden agendas etc. Through the process of disclosure, hidden details should be moved to the open area. Say for example you have a boss at work or a spouse and s/he does things that irks you. What we tend to do is to keep it inside. That creates a hidden area, cos we know and others don’t. The healthy option? Engage in constructive discussions. Discuss what that person does and its effect on you, what this does is it increases the open area. The result s/he has heard your concerns and they may have not known the effect of their actions on you and if they see fit, they will rectify this. The reduction of this area results in the reduction of potential confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication etc. The secret to making this area work will be to create a situation where the individual feels comfortable divulging this information of his or her own free will.

Quadrant 4 – The unknown area
This is a funny area, because if I don’t know and you don’t know how do we know there is something I don’t know? Deep ne? These unknown issues take the form of feelings, behaviours, attitudes, capabilities etc. This area is larger in younger people and people who lack self belief or experience. I am sure you may be wondering what could fall into this quadrant? Below are a few examples extracted from the training material (I hope this isn’t copyright infringement):
An ability that is under-estimated or untried through lack of opportunity, encouragement, training or confidence
Natural ability or aptitude that a person does not realize they possess
A fear or aversion that a person doesn’t realize they possess
An unknown illness
Repressed or subconscious feelings
Conditioned behaviour or attitudes from childhood…

I think you get the picture. But how do we reduce this hidden area? Well I guess the obvious way is through examination, exploration and encouragement to spread your wings and try new things. Counselling for example would be a good way to unearth deep rooted behaviours. But the thing with this area is that it can move to any of the other 4 quadrants. This all depends on who discovers this knowledge and what they decide to do with the info. A word of caution though, is that this region could area could hold some repressed or subconscious feelings that may be the result of a traumatic experience in the past.

Interesting stuff this psycho analysis mumbo jumbo. Our presenter was a lady who specializes in neuro-linguistics…which in layman terms is the languages of the brain.

Later all hope u have a brilliant weekend. Off to the cricket with clients later today, but plenty to do before then. Sun is shining here in the cape, hope its shining wherever you are or at least in your life.

Birthdays
23rd Pearl
24th Philip
25th Karina

“to understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but what he aspires to.” Khalil Gibran

That’s me for this week

Respect!

Y

Who’s idea was it to organize 6 am flights?! My oath, and the paranoia that goes with it. I hate having inflexible things to do early in the morning cos I tend to not trust my alarm. So this morning I was up at 2am then 3…then again at 4 and then I decided u no what lets just get up already. Other than a tad dozy, I am on top of my game.

I had a psychometric test the other day for work, what it was for? I know not, but I quite enjoy participating in these things. My personality type was ESTP, Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking and Perception. “In general, ESTPs are action oriented, pragmatic, outgoing, and realistic people. In situations that require resourcefulness, they use their quickness and flexibility to find the most efficient route to accomplishing whatever needs to be done. They are lively, entertaining, and fun. They like to be where the action is and participate fully in what is happening. Characteristically, they are direct with their comments and mince no words. They are at their best in situations that require an orientation to the present and a direct, no-nonsense, pragmatic approach.” Extract from the results
As with most things I feel some of them apply and others are hogwash, but helluva interesting nonetheless.

I have mates who go and see clairvoyants. I am not too sure about these things, but to each their own is what they say I guess. Anyway for some reason, I have been thinking about it for a while and one of the most spoken about clairvoyants, is who I will write about today. He was born Michel de Nostradame on the 14th Dec 1503 in St Remy de Provence. His family were Jewish initially but converted to Christianity, which lead to Nostradamus being raised as a catholic. He by the way latinised his name to Nostradamus from de Nostradame.

He was a bright lad and studied classical languages, mathematics, astrology and astronomy. He later enrolled to become a doctor at the University of Montpellier. After qualifying he wandered off into the countryside and applied his skills to save many people from the plague. Whilst in practice, his unconventional ways caught the eye of a certain Julius Ceasar Scaliger, a philosopher, who invited Nostradamus to stay with him at his home in Agen. In 1534, he met a lovely damsel, whose name is not recorded anywhere, they wed and had a son and a daughter, the life of happiness was not to last. The plague returned, it swept through the region claiming many lives. On the list of casualties was Nostradamus; wife and 2 children. He was beside himself! His practice was in tatters, he couldn’t save his own wife and kids, well then who could he save? He set off once again into the world, wandering through France and Italy for a period of around 6 years. U see I don’t think plane and car travel was quite where it is now J It was during this time that he realised that he had a gift that enabled him to see into the future, well so its believed. It is recorded that one day whilst wandering through Italy he came across a group of Monks, Nostradamus, fell to his knees clutching the garment of one of the monks and exclaimed with his head bowed. When asked what he was doing he replied “I must yield and bow before his holiness”. Many though Nostradamus was dilly because this monk whose garment he had clutched was a monk named Peretti, a former pig herder. Apparently 19 years after Nostradamus’ death this monk became Pope Sxtus V…coincidence…u decide.

There is another story that some people heard about his ‘abilities’ and tried to show him up. He was invited to dinner one night and prior to the dinner, the host showed him two pigs, he asked Nostradamus which pig they would be eating, Nostradamus responded the black one, the owner said to his chef, right, we’ll show him, prepare the white one he said. At the dinner table he asked Nostradamus again which pig was being eaten once again he answered the black pig and with a smurk on his face he called in the cook and asked him which pig was being eaten, and the cook answered the black one. The owner was aghast, and why might this be he asked, well, the cook explained, just before I was about to fetch the white pig to prepare it, a tame wolf wandered into the yard and devoured the pig.

In 1547, he remarried and settled in Salon where started to focus his knowledge on writing books. “In 1955 he published the first of 10 books all titled centuries. Each of these contained 100 predictions written in 4 line verses which were named quatrains”.

The most spoken about of these predictions are the 3 powerful and tyrannical leaders that he called the ‘anti-christ’

The first was believed to be Napoleon and what he wrote was this:
An emperor shall be born near Italy
Who shall cost the Empire dear,
They shall say, with what people he keeps company
He shall be found less a Prince than a butcher.
Some other predictions about Napoleon were made such as his fate:
The great empire will soon be exchanged for a small place.
Which will soon begin to grow
A small place of tiny area in the middle of which
He will come to lay down his scepter

The captive prince, conquered, is sent to Elba
He will sail across the Gulf of Genoa to Marseilles
By a great effort of the foreign forces he is overcome
Though he escaped the fire, he bees yield blood by the barrel.

The next of the anti-christs was Hitler, and about him he wrote:
Out of the deepest part of the west of Europe
From poor people a young child shall be born
Who with his tongue shall seduce many people
His fame shall increase in the Eastern Kingdom
He shall come to tyrannize the land
He shall raise up a hatred that had long been dormant
The child of Germany observes no law
Cries and tears fire blood and battle
A captain of Germany shall come to yield himself by false hope
So that his revolt shall cause great bloodshed

Of the third he says:
Out of the country of geater Arabia
Shall be born a strong master of Mohammed
He will enter Europe wearing a blue turban
He will be the terror of mankind
Never more horror

He even states when the third world war will begin in the following statements:
In the year 1999 and seven months
From the sky will come the great King of Terror
He will bring back to life the King of the Mongols
Before and after war reigns

Many students of his work believe this third guy to be Saddam Hussein. I am not so sure about that one personally, I believe the world is currently at war, but not in the sense of the word that we know it, from TV etc. but we are at war. 9/11 the London bombings, Bali bombings, Iraq unrest, Spain and when did this all come to head. I believe it started with the first gulf war.

Nostradamus died on the 1/7/1566 from gout.

Cant think of any birthdays this week and I don’t have my trusted diary to prompt me neither, but if this your birthday week many happy returns to ya.
That’s me for this week, as usual maximum respect. Y

!5 degrees at the start of summer, every week for the last few weeks, there is talk of a hurricane, a typhoon or a storm of some sort, causing mad destruction and wreaking havoc, all over this globe, yet we ask y? Cut down the trees, drive our cars, spray our deo and carry on asking y?!

Ooh doom and gloom to start off the mail, but no its not all doom and gloom in my world, quite on the contrary, even though its cloudy outside the sun still shines. I actually just completed my first term loan transaction of about R30mil, bringing my total lending to about R90 odd mil for the year, the first 2 were a walk in the park compared to this one, but I think I will get more satisfaction from this one, just cos of the amount of KAK (shaite) I had to go through to get it done! It’s a bit of an anti-climax to be honest, kinda like finishing a series of exams. J But how u all doing? Hope u are all bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I am not sure if you are aware, but this is quite a holy week we are in, with lots of religious events taking place. Monday nite was the first nite of the Jewish New Year and Tuesday the second nite, of the Jewish new year. I think I may have written about this in previous emails, someone please confirm.

4th October, other than being Liam’s birthday J was the start of the Hindu festival of Navaratri, “Nava”, meaning 9 and “ratri” meaning nights. It is one of the most celebrated festivals in the Hindu calendar, it however holds special significance to Gujaratis and Bengalis. It is a festival observed twice a year, once at the beginning of summer and then again at the start of winter. Why is this? Well Hindus believe that there is a divine power that provides energy for the earth to move around the sun, causing the distinct changes in temperature and its only right to give it thanks. Another reason for this is that due to the changes in nature, peoples minds and bodies also tend to change and worship must be given to the divine power that allows us to maintain our physical and mental balance.

So now why the nine nights as I mentioned before? Well the festival is divided into 3 sets of 3 nights. The first of the 3 nights is for dedicated to the destruction of impurities, vices and defects. The goddess Durga (warrior goddess), dressed in red and mounted on a lion is the goddess dedicated to this cause. The next 3 nites, the giver of spiritual wealth Lakshmi, dressed in gold and mounted on an owl is worshiped. It is believed that she has the ability to bestow on her devotees copious amounts of wealth. The last 3 days are devoted to the goddess dressed in milky white and mounted on a pure swan, Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge. Hindus believe that in order to have an ‘all-rounded success in life’, all 3 aspects of the divine mother must be worshiped.

The 5th October, yesterday, was the beginning of the holy month of Ramadhaan in the Islam faith. This is a month of fasting (Saum) where ‘participants’ are supposed to abstain from eating, drinking and sex from sunrise to sunset. I have written about this before, but I find it quite interesting and for the benefit of those who have just joined this newsletter I will summarise this period. Why fast? Well it’s a means of controlling desires, u see if you can steer clear of abstaining from lawful pleaseures such as eating, sex, drinking, well then its just that much easier to steer clear of unlawfull ones and it weakens your inclination towards sin. Fasting brings people closer to the angelic beings who have no need for food and water. Fasting teaches people self control and patience, cos damnit imagine being hungry and not being able to eat till the sun sets, boss, if u r dedicated to the cause, u must maar wait, which removes the impulsive animal nature from our being.

But this is the easi part. There are deeper forms of fasting that includes:
1) lowering and protecting the gaze from the evil and sights
2) protecting the tongue from vain talk, obscene language, lying, back-biting, carrying tales, etc.
3) protecting the ears from listening to evil
4) protecting the remainder of the limbs of the body from evil

Here’s a thought, how about we try and fast for one day, just for whatever reason you have in mind and donate whatever cash you would have spent on food that day to a buy a street kid some food, or extra pay to your helper or whatever cause you can think of. I must say its quite a discipline. I tried to fast today but at 8:30am one of my colleagues offered me a muffin that I duly accepted, without even a thought, didn’t do it on purpose, but still did it, DOH!! The holy month of Ramadhaan lasts till about 3rd November so u have plenty of days to get it right.

That’s me for this week

Birthdays
4th Monkfish
6th Liz

“Few see beyond the outward appearance and recognize the true worth of a human soul. When they do, miracles occur” Thomas S Monson

U know last weekend, I heard of the passing of a very young man, I cant claim that he was a good friend or anything, but he was quite a jovial kinda guy and every time u’d see him out on the ‘jol’ he’d be having a ripper, but no more, which makes this next quote all the more relevant.

“Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do!”

On that note I am out for this week, I sincerely hope you had a good week and have an even more pleasant weekend. Maximum respect.

Y