Hey guys, another short week ahead of us, as much as they are lovely, next week will be a bit of a shock to the system when you have to do a full 5 day week…yuck!! But hey enjoy em whilst they are here is what I say. I hope u all had a well rested and had a great Easter weekend. Mine was pretty cool had some visitors from the land of the big smoke…Jozi, and I must say I was pretty touched that you all made an effort to come see me…Thashnee, Thabo, Bontle and Mandeya, Rachel and Lambert and Thabang and Lephoi, your efforts are hugely appreciated. It was also very cool to see all the other mates who were here for Pete and Carla’s wedding…a beautiful wedding one at that too! Very well played Pete and Carla, an eternity of happiness and memories awaits u 2.

So on Wednesday nite I head off to Sea Point in search of a mate from Jozi, I had no joy in finding her, so I headed off to my car, now for those of you who don’t know, Sea Point is a gay mecca, oh wait, Cape Town is a gay mecca, but that’s not my point. On my way to my car a truck load, ok a Polo Classic full of screaming queens pulls up next to me, make a kissing noise and start screaming, I in turn look at them giving them a half baked smile, jump into Betty and headed off home.

Anyway so I get a visitor on Saturday and I am relaying the story to her telling her how dirty I felt, but I didn’t really cos its kinda expected…I mean have u seen me?! Ok I joke…
Back to the story…so we get into a heated discussion about how just as I felt dirty, women have to indure this sort of behaviour all the time from us rude guys and how its disrespectful for guys, who are definitely in her class to assume that they can just whistle at her and expect her to answer favourably. We then went on to have a discussion about the proper manner in which to approach a lass etc.

Now please do forgive me if the email is slightly tainted to depict my point of view…but I guess that’s why I am writing it, but I will try and be as verbatim as I can. Please do note as well that any of you can respond either by replying or through www.mondaymail.blogspot.com

As a guy, I don’t think the intention is being disrespectful if out of the blue I see a lovely lass crossing the street and emotion overcomes me and I feel the need/urge to let her know that she has my temperature operating at boiling point. Lets look at the following scenarios..

Scenario 1
Bricklayer, mechanic, gardener…general blue collar worker going along his business with his boys, along walks a fine looking madam, nearly knocks the brother off his ladder. Her overwhelming beauty has him fixed, so much so that he erupts in flurry of compliments towards this young, fine lady. Are his intentions to be disrespectful, I doubt, are his intentions to let the lovely lady know his feelings I think so. Is he within his rights…debatable but I would say yes…nothing ventured nothing gained.

Scenario 2

Guy goes to a club, he notices this awesome creation, shakin what her momma gave her. Guy steps up to woman and says hi, I cant help myself, but that behind looks fantastic in those pair of pants.
Scenario 3

Othaguy walks into a club, notices a fine lass across the bar, he notices her beautifully radiant eyes that light the room when she smiles, Othaguy steps to lady and tells her just that.

If I am not mistaken out of the 3 the only one that would be acceptable to the lass is the last one. And to that I say bull sh it!

Lets break it down, Scenario 1. The man is taking a chance, fair enuff 1 out of say 1000 times he tries, he may get a favourable response, but I think he has to try 1000 times before he can get that 1 success. Why must he think that he is not in miss hotties league, if in his mind he has every chance to approach the lady. Well good luck to him. If she reckons she is too high and mighty not to entertain his vociferous advances, well that’s her prerogative.

Scenario 2. What did Guy notice, he noticed her fine behind shaking it on the dance floor. He didn’t notice her great personality, so that’s his first approach. Does he have to mask it, perhaps in his delivery, but to say I like your outfit or nice smile or whatever is a lie! He must just tune her straight nice bum (or something to that effect) cos that’s what he noticed

Scenario 3. Also gives you no chance of success, cos she may have heard it plenty times before, but this most people find to be more acceptable. And I think that’s bollocks. Who makes these damn rules that we are operating by? A bum…a smile…your eyes all physical traits. Some might argue that that an eye is less sexually orientated than a bum….errrr, I know this lass with the most beautiful green eyes ever, and I find them insanely sexy…Some might find the mouth to be sexy. All I say is we have to break the mould.

Lets add a bit of flavour to these scenarios, lets assume it was Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt, or any other guy that women find yummy, or even any other guy that you want attention from. Say they had to whistle as you walked across their path or shout, nice bum. You can not tell me that he will be labeled as rude…disrespectful etc. I am sure to the contrary you’d run back to your girls, high fives all around and you’d be wiping that dirt off your shoulder cos u’d be just too damn hot for your bad self.

To summarise, in my minds eye, I believe that every person has every right to approach any person any way that they deem suitable (I say this with qualification) but in saying this you should also know that the response you may receive may not be exactly the response you were hoping for

Let me know your views!

Birthdays
1st Carnita
2nd Gorata, Jenna

And if I missed your birthday, ooops, but please in order to not forget it in the future, don’t u wanna holler at me.

I was asked on Sunday why I actually send out these emails, and you know initially it was my way of being lazy and contacting all my friends in one shot, and now its become a commitment thing, which has been good for me, cos its one of the things I am working on…COMMITMENT, even though not too many people respond, many do tell me that they read it and enjoy reading them and also from time to time I do enjoy writing them. Ruffling a few feathers, u know…

Neway enuff rambling from me for one week. U all take it easi.

Maximum respect.

Y

Girl I'll be right there when you need meAll you have to do is just call me, I'll be there for you. Girl it's true.Only for you.oh yeah..If I told you once, I told you twice, that if you need to cry,I'll be your shoulder. Girl I would never say goodbye.I'll be your miracle, gotta let you know.Girl if you need someone... You need a man who's(honest) and (understanding) Gotta be (satisfying)and someone (belonging) girl I'm gonna be (affection)and I'm gonna be (needful) Girl you need someone (dedicated)I need you to know that I'll be there for you whenever you needme. R Kelly – For you

Top of the morning to you all.

Trust all is well. Other than the insane heat we are experiencing in these parts of the world, I really don’t have much to complain about, even if u can call that a complaint.

On Sunday I was reading the Sunday Times and on page 5, I see an article “Lobolo takes its toll on marriages”… The article is based on a study that found high bride prices is a factor that is keeping increasing amounts of black women single.

The focal fact unearthed in this study was that black and coloured women are 6 times more likely to be unmarried at the age of 50. The article then goes on to pin this reason on high wedding costs and lobolo. The article does however mention a change in the social climate in this country as well as the acceptance as co-habitation as some of the factors that has lead to this.

In my un-researched, humble opinion, I think I would place the blame mainly on these factors rather than on the price of lobolo.

I definitely think there is some truth in it, well the fewer black people getting married part. In the last 2 years I think I have attended something like 6 weddings and only two has been a black couple (I hear the comments now, that’s cos most of your mates are white ;-)). I look at my group of friends, and as much as we all think it may be nice finding a wife and making a home, its far from a priority for many of the brothers, actually many of my guy friends. Negras are more keen on setting up BEE consortiums etc.

If I look back to my parent’s generation, an ‘african’ woman was largely about finding a man, getting married and starting your own family. Careers were a nice to have but not a huge focus in your life. The attitudes of society were different (I was going to use the words simpler, or nicer, but I thought about it…) then. It was the man’s duty to go out there and be the provider and the woman would keep the home.

Nowadays, especially here in SA, things have changed for the better, for the worse, you decide, I have my own take on it. In my humble opinion, I think many women particularly black women are more career oriented than in the past. Its all about making the cheese, settling down and starting a family is important, but if it doesn’t happen now, well oh well. Black women are looking for a man who can provide for them in every conceivable way and I say good for them. Now its not just enough being the guy, from a good family, putting in some air time, hell no, bra in this day and age you have to have a huge game. You gotta have some credentials. I mean really what does she need you for? Food, I make my own cash thanks, A car…nigga please, Townhouse, I have my own… sex, its either battery operated or I get into an arrangement with some cat, a family, well who really needs one of those, we could just live together… Social and economic liberation, we all now have choices.

But on the other hand Darren, the guys aren’t helping matters much neither. Brothers aren’t helping matters much. With this whole shift in the current socio-economic climate in SA, most brothers are more career orientated than before, because now we have a chance to make something of ourselves, an opportunity that once didn’t exist. The guys are out chasing the next BEE deal, the next high paying job, the next X5 car, the next cluster in Midrand…you get the picture? As arrogant as it may sound, brothers are now seen to be hot property and they cant seem to hold it down when it comes to relationships, I am not sure if its cos they think there is something better around the corner, or the whole thought of a proper relationship sends them running a mile, but something’s got the brother running.

But sisters aren’t making it any easier for us all. Deny it all you want, but most Sandton sisters, that I came across, have a fat list of criteria when picking the man to be seen with. Have a good job, styling car, dress well, be popular, have a sense of humor, know how to treat a woam, and… and flash some cash at the bar, and you’ll have them in abundance, yes I am generalizing, and you are entitled to disagree, but it is what it is…now it explains why I gets no game. I need me to start dressing better!!! Cos all the rest are out of reach at this moment.

There was something else about that article that made me chuckle, there was a stat that more white people were getting divorced than not, well duh!! If more are getting married, well u do the math.

All in all things just aint the same for gangstas. Good thing, bad thing…its just different.

Some might just argue that they haven’t found the right one, the question you should be asking is why?

Birthdays
5th Will Marshall-Smith (missed this one)
14th Isabella
15th Scot Mc
18th Nasrin

Hope u all had and will have great birthdays.

Remember www.mondaymail.blogspot.com for any comments

Maximum respect

Y

“Time is on my side, yes it is; Time is on my side, yes it is“ - Rolling Stones
Good afternoon all,
My oath am I tired?! Long week, but believe it or not, its been one of my quietest weeks workwise in a while, but hey its Friday, so its all good. I hope all is well in your corner.

I’m sure many of u have seen the movie Fallen with Denzel Washington, the story deals with a bad spirit that jumps from being to being etc. hence the song extract above. What tha @**! U might be thinking? Let me make it all slightly clearer, today I am writing about reincarnation, a topic that many of us at some moment in our lives have thought/discussed at length about, but ended up parking it somewhere in the archives.

Reincarnation or the transmigration of the soul is phenomenon that has been discussed by many generations before ours. It is believed that earliest classical definition of reincarnation came to the fore through the Indian Brahmana writings in about 9 BC. It was adopted by Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Jainism and later by Chinese Taoism in around 3 BC. Egyptians also adopted a form of reincarnation, but their beliefs tended more towards resurrection rather than reincarnation hence the embalmment of dead bodies. This was done with the thought that the wandering soul, that had left the deceased person’s body would find its way back into the body of the deceased.
A Greek philosopher/mathematician Pythagoras also adopted this. He was of the belief that the soul was immortal and merely resided in the body, when the body’s duty was done, the spirit would survive and find another soul to inhabit. He believed that this series of rebirths purify the soul till it reaches full purification, at which stage it can leave the whole reincarnation cycle.

Plato another Greek philosopher shared these sentiments, but he added a twist to this whole process, he stated that the soul was an entity floating in the celestial world and as a result of sin it was banished to endure life in a physical body. Through this whole reincarnation process, the soul gets tarnished with impurities, and if through the life of the soul it inhabits, the impurities outweigh the good deeds of the soul, i.e. the good deeds of the soul, can’t eliminate the impurities, the soul will deteriorate and end up in Tartarus, a place of eternal damnation…enter the Christian concept of hell.

Lets go back to the Eastern thinking behind reincarnation.

The teachings of the east, believe that once a person died, their soul would leave the body and is (re)born into another entity. None of the personal attributes the past life this soul once lived is carried forth as it ‘can not record any data produced in the illusory domain of psycho-mental existence’ and thus disintegrates with the death of the body. What is carried forward however is the karmic debt of the previous life. What happens then, is the new person experiences the fruits of the actions of the past life, and its up to the new soul to ‘stop the rot’. The thinking behind Karmic debt is what is used to describe situations where you have a person, religious as all hell, always helpful to others…lived the life of an angel, but they just cant seem to get it right, life is a struggle financially, they’re always ill, misfortune just keeps finding its way to them etc. then on the other hand we have another person, just an average joe plodding through life, rich, healthy, fortunate u get the picture?! This process is believed to persist until purification of the soul is achieved. Hindus, Buddhists and Chinese Taoists similarly share this sentiment. Below is an extract from Chuang Tzu of Taoism faith:
Birth is not a beginning; death is not an end. There is existence without limitation; there is continuity without a starting point. Existence without limitation is space. Continuity without a starting point is time. There is birth, there is death, there is issuing forth, there is entering in. That through which one passes in and out without seeing its form, that is the Portal of God

Enter modern thinking…now you know us western people, Karma and all that funny stuff is far too airy fairy for us to even try and comprehend, we need hard and fast definitions. There has got to be a goal in sight. So what new age thinking brought about was the theory of the soul’s passage through the universe as being one of an eternal progression of the soul towards higher levels of spiritual existence. New age thinking believes that the soul preserves the attributes of personhood as it passes through different lives.

My view on reincarnation is pretty simple. The only life I know is this one. The only Karmic debt I will know is the one that I live in this body and I so do believe in Karma. So in this life that I live through this mind, body and soul, my actions determine the consequences I will have to endure and hence the path that my life takes! Reincarnation or no reincarnation, what I do on this earth, will inevitably find its way back to me in some form or another! Whats your take on it all?

Once again many thanks to www for the research info!

Birthdays
9th Nicolette
10th Steve
11th Bontle
Many happy returns to you all

Quote
It’s a quote I may have used before, I know I am slacking on the quotes but I quite enjoy this one. I got it from a breakfast I attended this morning about BEE and transformation.

“we must become the change we want to see” – Ghandi

www.mondaymail.blogspot.com for any comments

Have a great weekend if you are still at work or a great week if you have just received this on Monday morning.

Ciao and maximum respect as usual! If you are writing part 1 of the board exam, next week, may the force keep you calm and focused and full of all the RIGHT answers ;-)

Y