A wet morning here in Johannesburg yet a beautiful morning none-the-less. I sincerely hope that you are all well of mind, body and soul.

My good friends, many thanks, to those of you that made the effort in helping me out with some topics for the weeks ahead. All those topics and websites are pretty interesting but there is one that I thought I should air out now, because it’s something that we all live (okay, the real reason is because I don’t have to dive into some tedious research on this one J) .

Before I carry on, I added a couple of names to this list those that I do remember are Kim and Vuyo, if I forgot you, no offence intended, but if u feel u must get offended well what can I do J? Guys that I have added and to the rest of you, whenever u feel the need to be removed from this list, please just holler!!

Anyway the topic this week is a topic that I have touched on in prior emails, but a topic worth talking about again, thanks Mia.

Do you remember growing up, well I do (still have plenty of it to do), so some memories are fresher than others J. My folks put in some decent hours at work, but they always were there for us whenever and however they could be. I suppose maybe it because they are both in education, but they just always seemed to be there…which wasn’t always such a good thing. The old folks always seemed to have time for themselves and for everybody else. Time to invite people over for lunch this weekend, that weekend etc. they had time to help us with our homework, they had time to take you to the library on Saturday morning, something I wished they didn’t have time for quite frankly, time to play tennis, soccer, badminton etc. with us. They had time to just mess around in the kitchen baking cakes, scones etc. We as young ones as well had lots of energy and time and no worries. I remember waking up in the morning the only intention was taking a step down Sissons str. to go visit Ed and Dave, and all we’d do was just mill around shooting hoops, playing table tennis, listening to music, watching …., walking up to the shops and back down again, visiting people I suggest we visit, but I end up not actually having anything to say to these people.

Most of the work in the house was done in-house, like mowing the lawn, washing dishes, cleaning pools (for those that who had pools) washing clothes (by hand)…I could go on, but what do we do now, cooking…whatever?!! Lets go get Wooolies microwave meals. Mowing my lawn, whatever!! Garden service duhh?! Baking from scratch? Ready mix… u get the picture. What does this mean? We are all always chasing the cheese, its all about a better job, better paying job at that, work, work, work…money, money, money.

Kids, running around, climbing trees, etc. nope, PS2, CD players, computers, TV, make up, drugs, sex at 13/14. I heard a shocking story the other day, my youngest brother who is all of 21 yrs old just told me that he just heard that one of his mates has recently died from an overdose and another had a drug related stroke and as a result half of his body is paralysed…the world is spinning on a different plane nowadays I tell u!

Everyone is looking at how to get one over on the next. A lot of us are of the opinion that what we have and who we are is just not good enough and we can do better. Striving for excellence, that’s all good and so too this pursuit of the ultimate us, but at what cost? At the cost of losing touch with our true selves…or is this Capitalist Us the real us? All these questions and no answers from me J cos I aint got them. But this pursuit of the better, capitalist us has many spin offs to it. It tends to result in us being classists (if such a word exists). I come from very humble beginnings and I’d be damned if I ever forget that, but many a time I tend to lose focus and the pursuit of that flashy car and the bling bling house, clouds the soul. Its all good and well to aspire to a better life than what you have known, but its another to lose your identity to labels…Hi I am Yaw, owner of 3 Ferraris, a mansion in Dainfern, a Villa in the South of France, a wardrobe full of Armani, Gucci and Ralph Lauren, and you are?

That is just so shallow and empty, we are soo much more than how much we earn, what we drive, where we live etc. Sometimes I sit back and all I can think is that we are so losing the plot. We live in a world that offers us so much opportunity to let the real us shine through, but our first question is, hmmmm what’s in it for me? For the Religious amongst us, we know what sacrifices were made for our salvation, we know what the teachings say, did any of them consider what was in it for them? We have become so elitist and self-absorbed, or can this attitude be classed as just not getting along with certain people or not having anything in common with them, so rather not have them in our circle?
I have a friend and the other day he was telling me a story. He has a 6 year old child, but through no fault of his own, the child is very slow in maturing, and as a result he doesn’t really listen, when you say ‘no don’t do it’ he carries on, he cant really speak yet neither, etc. He tends to take his child to visit some friends in the larney burbs, but the child tends to touch things and accidentally break things. He also takes his child to the township to visit some of his other friends who still live there, the child acts in the same manner there too. One day it all came to air that his friends that live in the burbs have an issue with his child, touching and breaking things etc. and that he is stubborn and doesn’t listen etc. but these people are very aware of the child’s condition. The total opposite can be said of the mates in iLoksion, they are so supportive, always asking how the child is, how he is progressing etc. Makes me think…

Who are u really? When you take a step back and look at your life are u entirely happy with what you have become, what you aspire to be? Are you entirely happy with all your actions? Where u are dissatisfied can you make a change? More importantly do you really sincerely want to make that change, because to change/do something and make it count and be meaningful in your life it definitely has to be a whole hearted event.

Another spin off is one I can’t seem to get away from at the moment, maybe because according to society I and a lot of my mates, u guys…are in that space at the moment. I guess before I go on I must congratulate Gretchen and Craig, Angela and Trevor, Garth and Lisa, Thabo and Chomba, Bontle and Mandea, Jake and Lilly, Rachel and Lambert, Liam and Tanya, Courts and Howard, Keith and Tarryn and Pete and Carla, for managing to get it right (if I have forgotten you in this list oops). A whole lot of my mates and people in this age group always seem to be bitching and moaning about looking for that special someone, but not being able to find them. Someone with that X factor, define the X factor and it’s the same old, smart, intelligent, happy with who they are, ambitious, real, real hot, funny, etc. but most of you the people that are telling me this fit the profile, yet they cant seem to find The One…The gals are complaining that the guys are all players and they are full of it, this and that and the guys are complaining that the girls all think they are all that, they are driven, they are ambitious and they think that they are all that and the moans can go on and on till the break of dawn…is our pursuit of career excellence getting in the way of our relationships as well, or are we in that space where what we have just aint good enough and there is something better around the corner? Ek weet nie (I don’t know). I am no relationship expert and have never professed to be one, but according to my parents, uncles and aunts, I am 28, finished studying, doing ok in terms of work etc, have a this that and the next, naturally the next step is to find the one… I don’t know about that one. Speaking for me I don’t think I am ready, but another school of thought is that I am just so darn lazy to make the effort, but that could also link back to the I don’t think I am ready bit, who knows.

I know I pose a lot of questions some/most of which I have no answers to, but u guys are a wise bunch maybe one of you can drop an idea or two.

I started writing this mail on Saturday afternoon, and I thought it was a very apt topic, working on a damn fine Saturday afternoon, then yesterday was on a call with the the lovely Karabo T, and she also fueled the topic. With the topic still fresh in my mind I thought it best to complete it now…

Any comments…reply to this mail or http://www.mondaymail.blogspot.com

Birthdays
11th Cousin George
16th Thabo

Happy birthday boys and anyone else who celebrates a birthday this week.

Quotes
“how good and how pleasant it would be before God and man to see the unification of all Africans” – Bob Marley
“ I have climbed highest mountains, I have run through the fields only to be with you, I have run, I have crawled, I have scaled, theses city walls only to be with you, but I still haven’t found what I am looking for…” U2
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money. – Benjamin Franklin
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. – Benjamin Franklin
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving. – George Elliot
Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil. – Henry Fielding

Ps. I have just read an email just highlighting all the ‘crap’ all you ladies have to go through, from developing breasts through to menopause, and all I can say is big up and maximum respect to you all, thank the powers that be that I am male!!

Maximum respect and I’m out

Y