In the words of Tumi Morule…Its HECTIC! I dunno whats plotting anymore. I am not sure if its because of aging or what but there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day, days in the week… anymore and ask me what I have done at the end of the day and all I can say is not enough! 10 months down 2 to go and have you achieved what you wanted to this year?

Before I carry on, another addition to our growing community. Wendt, welcome! Should you find this to be an absolute waste of precious inbox bytes, firstly give me suggestions to make it better or alternatively drop me a line to remove you and your wish shall be my command. For comments and to read some older emails please visit www.mondaymail.blogspot.com.

You know up until today (Thursday) I had no clue what to write about…enter Thursday, we have a training session, I really didn’t want to spend my whole day training, cos I have 1 deal I am wrapping up and another that has to close soon cos its boring the life out of me, but I decide to attend at least for the morning session. I must say I’m definitely glad I attended, albeit in fits and starts. The course was mainly focused around giving and receiving feedback, which I am not that great at. I remember getting hugely upset in my earlier years at PwC when all my managers told me what a sterling job I was doing, there was no negative press and come appraisal time I was rated average, I flipped like a little baby who’s dummy had been taken away from him/her. My approach was all wrong then and I realized soon after the meeting, but its an emotional thing and your first reaction is always on the defensive. Something that I took from that meeting and which got reinforced yesterday, was step back assess and comment in a structured manner. Bloody difficult ask me I know, but its all about practice and making a conscious decision.

Anyway back to my topic…todays training is about receiving and giving feedback, but something that caught my attention was a concept called Johari’s window.

The window looks like this:

The name Johari is pretty odd isn’t it? The reason for the name is that the ‘concept’ is named after its architects Joe Luft and Harry Ingram. It emphasizes the importance of feedback particularly in developing your blind areas (the top right hand quadrant).

I will attempt to explain all these quadrants as I understand them.

Quadrant 1 – Open/free area
This area highlights the attributes of a person know to the person and others, such as their behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion, knowledge, experience, skills, etc. The aim is for all of us to spend as much time in this area as possible because in this space we are at our optimum, all information is known, there is continuous communication and cooperation. Basically we are all reading off the same page. The aim is to get this open area as large as possible, because there is less conflict, confusion and mistrust, cos every knows everyone else’s business. This area can generally be expanded sideways and downwards into the blind and hidden areas.

Quadrant 2 – The blind area
This quadrant represents things others know about us, but we don’t know, a crude example would be say I blow my nose and there is a snolly still parking off in my nose, you can see it but I am totally oblivious to the fact. So here you are cringing every time you look at me. You know something I want to know. How do I get to a position of full knowledge as to the mechanics of your reaction? Request feedback! This feedback will assist in increasing self awareness and as a result increase the open area. This blind area is not a productive or effective area. Its an area that could breed arrogance/insecurity I guess, because you are so caught up in your own perception of you that you have no idea of what the world around you sees. This quadrant is prevalent in thick-skinned people. How does one minimize this area? Give sensitive, non-judgemental feedback, encourage disclosure and discussion. This will fuel the process of self actualization.

Quadrant 3 – The hidden area
This area describes things we know about ourselves but chose to hide from others. Such things will include fears, the fact that I watched a movie called Radio on Sunday and it brought a tear to my eye, because people may think I am a big baby, secrets, hidden agendas etc. Through the process of disclosure, hidden details should be moved to the open area. Say for example you have a boss at work or a spouse and s/he does things that irks you. What we tend to do is to keep it inside. That creates a hidden area, cos we know and others don’t. The healthy option? Engage in constructive discussions. Discuss what that person does and its effect on you, what this does is it increases the open area. The result s/he has heard your concerns and they may have not known the effect of their actions on you and if they see fit, they will rectify this. The reduction of this area results in the reduction of potential confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication etc. The secret to making this area work will be to create a situation where the individual feels comfortable divulging this information of his or her own free will.

Quadrant 4 – The unknown area
This is a funny area, because if I don’t know and you don’t know how do we know there is something I don’t know? Deep ne? These unknown issues take the form of feelings, behaviours, attitudes, capabilities etc. This area is larger in younger people and people who lack self belief or experience. I am sure you may be wondering what could fall into this quadrant? Below are a few examples extracted from the training material (I hope this isn’t copyright infringement):
An ability that is under-estimated or untried through lack of opportunity, encouragement, training or confidence
Natural ability or aptitude that a person does not realize they possess
A fear or aversion that a person doesn’t realize they possess
An unknown illness
Repressed or subconscious feelings
Conditioned behaviour or attitudes from childhood…

I think you get the picture. But how do we reduce this hidden area? Well I guess the obvious way is through examination, exploration and encouragement to spread your wings and try new things. Counselling for example would be a good way to unearth deep rooted behaviours. But the thing with this area is that it can move to any of the other 4 quadrants. This all depends on who discovers this knowledge and what they decide to do with the info. A word of caution though, is that this region could area could hold some repressed or subconscious feelings that may be the result of a traumatic experience in the past.

Interesting stuff this psycho analysis mumbo jumbo. Our presenter was a lady who specializes in neuro-linguistics…which in layman terms is the languages of the brain.

Later all hope u have a brilliant weekend. Off to the cricket with clients later today, but plenty to do before then. Sun is shining here in the cape, hope its shining wherever you are or at least in your life.

Birthdays
23rd Pearl
24th Philip
25th Karina

“to understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but what he aspires to.” Khalil Gibran

That’s me for this week

Respect!

Y