Girl I'll be right there when you need meAll you have to do is just call me, I'll be there for you. Girl it's true.Only for you.oh yeah..If I told you once, I told you twice, that if you need to cry,I'll be your shoulder. Girl I would never say goodbye.I'll be your miracle, gotta let you know.Girl if you need someone... You need a man who's(honest) and (understanding) Gotta be (satisfying)and someone (belonging) girl I'm gonna be (affection)and I'm gonna be (needful) Girl you need someone (dedicated)I need you to know that I'll be there for you whenever you needme. R Kelly – For you

Top of the morning to you all.

Trust all is well. Other than the insane heat we are experiencing in these parts of the world, I really don’t have much to complain about, even if u can call that a complaint.

On Sunday I was reading the Sunday Times and on page 5, I see an article “Lobolo takes its toll on marriages”… The article is based on a study that found high bride prices is a factor that is keeping increasing amounts of black women single.

The focal fact unearthed in this study was that black and coloured women are 6 times more likely to be unmarried at the age of 50. The article then goes on to pin this reason on high wedding costs and lobolo. The article does however mention a change in the social climate in this country as well as the acceptance as co-habitation as some of the factors that has lead to this.

In my un-researched, humble opinion, I think I would place the blame mainly on these factors rather than on the price of lobolo.

I definitely think there is some truth in it, well the fewer black people getting married part. In the last 2 years I think I have attended something like 6 weddings and only two has been a black couple (I hear the comments now, that’s cos most of your mates are white ;-)). I look at my group of friends, and as much as we all think it may be nice finding a wife and making a home, its far from a priority for many of the brothers, actually many of my guy friends. Negras are more keen on setting up BEE consortiums etc.

If I look back to my parent’s generation, an ‘african’ woman was largely about finding a man, getting married and starting your own family. Careers were a nice to have but not a huge focus in your life. The attitudes of society were different (I was going to use the words simpler, or nicer, but I thought about it…) then. It was the man’s duty to go out there and be the provider and the woman would keep the home.

Nowadays, especially here in SA, things have changed for the better, for the worse, you decide, I have my own take on it. In my humble opinion, I think many women particularly black women are more career oriented than in the past. Its all about making the cheese, settling down and starting a family is important, but if it doesn’t happen now, well oh well. Black women are looking for a man who can provide for them in every conceivable way and I say good for them. Now its not just enough being the guy, from a good family, putting in some air time, hell no, bra in this day and age you have to have a huge game. You gotta have some credentials. I mean really what does she need you for? Food, I make my own cash thanks, A car…nigga please, Townhouse, I have my own… sex, its either battery operated or I get into an arrangement with some cat, a family, well who really needs one of those, we could just live together… Social and economic liberation, we all now have choices.

But on the other hand Darren, the guys aren’t helping matters much neither. Brothers aren’t helping matters much. With this whole shift in the current socio-economic climate in SA, most brothers are more career orientated than before, because now we have a chance to make something of ourselves, an opportunity that once didn’t exist. The guys are out chasing the next BEE deal, the next high paying job, the next X5 car, the next cluster in Midrand…you get the picture? As arrogant as it may sound, brothers are now seen to be hot property and they cant seem to hold it down when it comes to relationships, I am not sure if its cos they think there is something better around the corner, or the whole thought of a proper relationship sends them running a mile, but something’s got the brother running.

But sisters aren’t making it any easier for us all. Deny it all you want, but most Sandton sisters, that I came across, have a fat list of criteria when picking the man to be seen with. Have a good job, styling car, dress well, be popular, have a sense of humor, know how to treat a woam, and… and flash some cash at the bar, and you’ll have them in abundance, yes I am generalizing, and you are entitled to disagree, but it is what it is…now it explains why I gets no game. I need me to start dressing better!!! Cos all the rest are out of reach at this moment.

There was something else about that article that made me chuckle, there was a stat that more white people were getting divorced than not, well duh!! If more are getting married, well u do the math.

All in all things just aint the same for gangstas. Good thing, bad thing…its just different.

Some might just argue that they haven’t found the right one, the question you should be asking is why?

Birthdays
5th Will Marshall-Smith (missed this one)
14th Isabella
15th Scot Mc
18th Nasrin

Hope u all had and will have great birthdays.

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