“Tears from my eyes keep on falling; cause you are leaving, leaving with another; Things that we've done together I'll always remember though you're with another, baby.
I've done everything one man can do, girl; Said every word one man can say; The thing that we had has gone astray, girl; I'm missing you from day to day.”- UB40

As i opened this word document, those were the song words that came to mind...and u know me and sharing 

Its been a long while hey. And the funny thing is now I have nothing but time but seem to be really busy doing not too much, go figure. Last we chatted I was on my way out of my previous job at Habari and venturing into uncharted waters. Anyway that day came on Friday, the 31st of July when i set off on what was to be a pretty fun road trip. Edward a very old and good mate of mine and I, headed down to Durbs. Ed was accompanying me just on this leg of the trip. It was such a ripper road trip cos I really haven’t spoken much to him in a while, i guess these things happen when a mate has a kid and becomes all responsible. Anyway I made an MP3 or 2 with some really good tracks that we used to cruise the streets of Fortgale in Umtata to. We arrived in Durbs missioned around a little because Ed was heading there for some work for the Tri-Nations. Part 1 vs 2 of the road trip was to visit another great man called Saul and his lovely wife Mandy. That went down pretty well too. Good times with the Cobbings. Saturday we milled around a bit then we made our way to ABSA Park for the rugby (Boks v Abs), i believe this is where things started to go horribly wrong, the Abs got their bums handed to them on a platter but they didn’t help matters much with their dumb football they tried to play, but thats a story for the rugby blog.

So along came Sunday, my day was greeted with some precipitation, which got me in a bit of a tizz, what kind of a road trip will this be?? But i was pretty excited nonetheless. N2 to Umtata, visit the old town that is responsible for a lot of who I am, then off to East London to spend the night with Grant and also hang with some really old class mates I haven’t seen in over 10 years maybe even 16 years some less. Anyway, I was too excited. The next day I was to head along the garden route. Stop at the Storms River Valley, pay some good money to throw myself off a bridge all in the name of fun and then continue my trip along the garden route till i got tired and then find another place to lay my head and then continue the trip the following day to the fairest cape. The plan was fool proof. All the Ts were crossed I’s dotted. Anyway so I leave Durbs, heading to the Eastern Cape. I head past Stanger, all I see signs of are a place called Pongola (not Margate, Port Shepstone, Kokstad...Pongola), no issue, I continue...but let me put this into context somewhat. For the first 60km or so of my journey i was in close proximity to 2 large Police transport vehicles. I am assuming they were transporting prisoners because there was a convoy infront and after them as well as guards at the toll gates and beyond. Anyway I wasnt travelling that fast so for a lot of the time I was either behind them or just infront of them or slowly overtaking them. I am assuming this was the reason i got the attention that I received. On a few occasions over this 60km stretch I had members of the convoy (in unmarked panel vans) coming up to my bumper and flashing and hooting, or a police car next to me then slowing down and then racing on and then pulling up next to me again...all rather unsettling but in the end i lost them. But i pooed in my pants hard.

Anyway 400km and 4 hours later no sea, no Shepstone, Kokstad, Mount Frere...log onto GPS....yip I had a GPS...WHAT AN IDIOT!!! But I had done this trip so often even as recently as 2004 when i was moving back to CT...i know this trip like the back of my hand....NAAAT. The penny really only dropped when i saw a signboard showing me to the Swazi border post, man was i livid. Rain, trucks road works all this endured to go the wrong way....un happy times. GPS reading Durban 402km Johannesburg 408km...408km is the winner, but it wasnt really. Man such a shocking trip road works aplenty trucks rain shooo, but i made it home, felt like a total plonker, slept the whole of Monday and on Tuesday hit the N1 from Joburg directly through to Cape Town. Such a good trip its been so far.

When you are in car by yourself for 26 odd hours (the wrong route and then the boring, direct N1 route) you tend to have loads of time to reflect on the last few years of my existence, think about what’s next. The reflection part was quite hard in a way because I looked at this last work setup that I have just left. I had time to think about things like my friends and how fortunate I am to have so many mates that are genuinely interested in what becomes of me, thought about the familia and how no one has stressed me about the fact that in these times I have left a job without having another proper job. I thought about the relationships I have had, or lack thereof and realised the fault definitely lies with me. Rectifying it well thats the hard part because i am pretty set in my ways...then there was work...For me out of all the jobs that I have had (not that there are that many) and left, this one was the one that has thus far disappointed me the most in terms of it not working out as I had hoped but in the same breath it was also the one job, out of every job I have ever done(along with swiping cards at the Health and Racquet) that I don’t think I would ever go back to. Which in my mind was quite random because it was one of the jobs I have enjoyed the most, but then I thought about it and I guess with this one I had made some pretty hectic decisions to take this direction and alas the disappointment of ‘failure’ was a much heavier burden than were it just another desk job, but alas the realisation and the great many learnings, as we do gain from all such endeavours that don’t meet our desired expectations, can only be carried forward, making us the better we’s that we are destined to become. What’s next is a tad blurred but it seems to be taking some shape or form. There are quite a few opportunities presenting themselves at the moment and in between listening to and watching the rain fall, heading out to Kalk Bay to just park off or drinks with mates at Camps Bay or doing absolutely nothing but sleep, I have been meeting with or telephonically engaging with one or 2 people who are helping that next step take some shape.

All in all so far, I have realised that I am one blessed summama b... some might say no Yaw you create those opportunities for yourself through your actions, and I guess that is your reality and helps you live your life the way you do. From where I sit, I strongly believe in a being higher than myself as the centre of my universe. It gives my life so much more meaning. To some its a sign of weakness or following a ‘man made belief’ to others such as myself its a reality one which I am grateful for, something that isn’t always easy to fully get and i struggle hard with it alot, but thus far everything in my life good or bad has been a blessing from my creator. Yep so I went the wrong way on the N2, stupid oh very much so, but who knows what was awaiting me on my trip? Yes I am no longer doing something that i would have liked to have worked, but I had almost 3 years of it, learnt and met a good few people, who knows what lies ahead for me? But in all this I am in a currently wet but lovely city called Cape Town, meeting some good people old and new, roof over my head and a bed, juice in Snowy’s tank, just got back from an introduction to the Landmark Forum, which even though was 3 and a half hours, was in my mind very deep. You know things could be well worse.

Anyway I am blabbing on and its 2.30am, not that i have anything to do tomorrow though  but before I leave, just something that I am learning more and more and that is our lives are always without a doubt a product of how we choose to live and what we choose to allow to manifest and become what we believe to be the truth...but i will get more into that another time. But if you are stuck in something you, yip you, no one else can change it!! You’ve wronged someone you can do right by them. Someone has wronged you, well you can harbour the resentment and let it eat at you, but believe you me this, only one really suffering is...yip you guessed it, YOU!! You can change or create your circumstances, no yeah buts, make like Nike and just do it!!

Birthdays
12th July Marc C, Yao
13th Mel H
14th Nats D
15th Garth, Yashie,Naeem
21st Belinda M
22nd Mich Wats
26th Karabo, Gina, Tanya
27th Tabi, Mike Harold Rea and Courts
28th Folks 36th wedding anniversary, yip 36th!!
29th Sheya and Reids
30th Lesley D and ETO Maravanyika
3rd Aug Deen Woodman
8th Blochie
12th Ang, Elly, Caroline
14th Degs
15th Sarika
19th Rob

Thats a wrap folks... hope you are all well or on the way to being well, because the reality is we cant all be well all the time, nor can we all be winners all of the time cos in life our best lessons are learnt through our trials and hardships but just working through all that clutter makes us winners in every sense.

Let today be another day of being a more complete you

Y